Kip Siebert

I just learned of Lani's death a few days ago when her husband sent out a mass email.  As a member of the reunion committee seeking out old classmates, Lani had become a pet project of mine, and when I found  her in Hawaii, it was one of the brightest moments in all my searches.  We bonded immediately, and shared several long emails and phone conversations.  I was impressed by her positive nature and energy, her deep sense of spirit, her love of life, and her love of the olive grove for which she was the caretaker.  Olive leaf tea, with all its healing qualities, is now a regular part of my daily regimen because of her.  She was also a nondenominational wedding officiant, and I suspect her weddings were wonderfully joyous affairs, with a deep universalist spirituality.

I knew she couldn't make it to the reunion, but I thought it was because of geography and/or finances.  I had no idea - she did not hint in any way - that there might be a more serious reason.  When several of my emails went unanswered in August and September, I just assumed she was too busy with life, or that her email server was down since she had said it was somewhat irregular in their rural environment.  After the reunion, I got caught up in the busy-ness of my life, and kept telling myself I should call, but never got around to it.  So when I received the mass post from her husband, I was dumbstruck.  Reading the posts on her memorial page, I realize that my impressions were correct, that she really was a very special person - loved deeply by many.  She apparently died peacefully at home, of natural causes, and with her loving husband of over 30 years at her side. 

She is surely missed, and she has reminded me once again in a very profound way how important it is to be ever mindful, appreciating every moment of every day.

Charles Daviet

I didnt know Lani very well in HS but I think I Kip's message portrays her well, as a woman who lived a life of wonderful appreciation for its joy, beauty and mystery.  

Allen Razdow (Razdow)

Lani was one of my closest friends at MHS.  Hours on the phone at one sitting -- group trips to the shore -- Edgar Allen Poe project for English class -- trips to New York on and off the record --  Lani truly helped me navigate the mysteries of getting social, and I needed help for sure!   After HS, we stayed in touch and in 1971, when I visited Darrel (Darrel and I married in 1976) in San Francisco, we spent a couple of days with Lani and her first husband in Santa Cruz.  Lani was tanned, driving a Chevy convertible, and with a huge wolf for a dog!  Lost track as our lives changed.  I managed to visit Chris Gebb (MHS '65) on Maui in 1983. I knew Lani was living there also so he drove me down to see her.  A picture of Chris and Lani as we arrived that afternoon 32 years ago, is attached to this message.  Then just last May 2014, Lani and I spent 90 minutes on the phone.  It was just like days of old, her insight and memory were bright as ever.  I was very sure we'd see each other again, I knew she and her partner Tom had a wonderful life out there in Maui still, and it was a great experience talking with her again.   She sent me a new email address mid August so I was shocked to hear only last week that she passed away at the end of August.  She never let on if she was ill when we spoke.  -- We think back on the few (very) teachers that were effective mentors for us at 17 years of age, and some friends too that made us better people for knowing them.  Lani was one of those friends.  

Ginger daSilva

Lani and I were very close sophomore and junion year, acting together in The Thespians, talking endlessly on the phone, hanging out. Senior year we drifted apart. I was busy with The Mountaineer and she was trying out other things. Often, when I went back to Montclair to see my mother, I would pass the Carignan's old house and wonder what had become of Lani, what new adventures she had found. I was very grateful to all the reunion organizers for setting up this website that allowed us to get in touch again after all these years. We found that although our lives had taken us to different parts of the globe, there were many things - adventures, values - that we still had in common. I was really sorry she couldn't make it to the reunion. And then I wondered why she suddenly stopped sending emails last summer. I hoped it was just busy-ness and not another estrangement for reasons unknown. It never occured to me we might have lost her - her messages were so full of vitality and love of life! I think Kip and Allan have said things very well. I share their sadness and wish Tom strength and comfort in his life without her.

Barbara Vosburgh (Linnard)

Lani and I sat next to each other in Miss Pickett's English class in our junior year at MHS, and a wonderful friendship was born! She and Allen Razdow (Dave's good friend) collaborted to get Dave (who was also in that class with us) and me together, and the rest is history!

We lost track of Lani when she moved to CA and then to HI. We weren't able to find her even with the Internet. Once she was found by a reunion committee member, she and I corresponded by email and had a wonderful catch up time together including photos. She didn't mention anything about being sick, but rather was so enthusiastic about her life with her husband, Tom, and her work with the olive grove. I was hoping we could go back to Hawaii to visit and see her in person. When we do go back, we will visit her husband, Tom, and see her olive grove. It will be a special visit.

Losing such a vibrant, loving, elegant person so young underscores the importance of not putting off being in touch with people who matter to you until you have more time. I am so thankful for the brief exchange Lani and I had recently and regret not being more in tune with Lani's reality. She was a truly bright light in our universe, and I know her light will continue to shine.

Thank you for your treasured friendship, Lani and the gift you gave to Dave and me so long ago.
Tom, Dave and I look forward to meeting you in the future, Our hearts go out to you as you deal with your great loss.

With love and deepest sympathy, Barby Vosburgh Linnard

Claire Widmark (Jennings)

Wow - ditto to all previous posts.  I too was in touch with Lani via email, started drinking her tea, and wondered why I had never gotten a response to my last email.  Not for one second did I consider something had happened to Lani because she seemed to be so positive and so full of life.  What a shocker to read she has left us, exactly 1 week after her last email to me.  I am sadened and send deepest sympathy to Tom and Lani's loved ones.  I am just grateful that our reunion website has given us a place to reconnect and keep current on old friends and classmates.